Write Body Paragraphs with Evidence and Commentary

Goal: write a body paragraph that makes a claim about a choice, proves it with a short quote, explains how the choice works, and ties it to the speaker's purpose.

Time: three sittings of about 30 minutes, one 15-minute return day, and one timed task when you have about 40 minutes.

Help: you can do this on your own or with family. You do not need a tutor. The Forms score your answers, the answer key explains every choice, and Part 6 shows you how to score your own paragraphs.

How it works: start at the top and work down in order. When you reach a line that says Stop here, you are done for that day.

Get these ready:

• Your tracker. Use the same copy you used in Modules 1 to 3.
• The answer key for Module 4. Keep it closed until a step tells you to open it.
• Your Tool Card: Rhetorical Analysis (Student). Open the CHAIN section.
• The Passage Packet from Module 2. It has the Kennedy and Reagan speeches and the strong sample essay. The Smith passage is printed in Part 2.
• Paper and a pencil, or your own copy of this doc.
• A timer.

Why it is built this way: practice testing and spacing your study over time are two of the most useful study methods. Rereading is not. Writing a paragraph, comparing it with a strong one and a weak one, and checking it against a list builds the skill. So this module has you write, test yourself, come back later, and check your own work.

If you get stuck

Do these in order:

1. Read the explanation in your Form results or the answer key.
2. Open the Tool Card and reread the CHAIN section.
3. Add the question to the My Mistakes tab, keep going, and try it again at your next sitting.
4. Still stuck? Post your question in the Community Stream in the Student Hub. Start your post with Q: so tutors and other students can answer it. Nobody scores essays in this kit, so ask about one specific step.

Try first (about 5 minutes)

Open the Try First Check. Answer all 5 questions before you read anything below. Mark how sure you are on each one. It is fine to miss some, because trying first helps you remember the answers later.

When you submit, choose View score and read why each answer is right or wrong. Write your score on the My Scores tab of your tracker.

Got 5 out of 5? Skip Part 1 and go to Part 2.

Part 1: CHAIN, the body paragraph (about 10 minutes)

Every body paragraph in your essay has the same job. It makes a claim about one choice the speaker makes, proves it with the speaker's words, explains how the choice works, and ties it to the speaker's purpose. The Tool Card names five steps. They spell CHAIN.

The steps do not always come in a straight line. A paragraph can have two quotes, and each quote needs its own Analyze sentence. What matters is that every quote gets explained and the paragraph ends on the purpose.

Worked example: Reagan

This is paragraph 2 of the Strong Sample Essay in the Passage Packet, one sentence at a time.

Notice what the quotes are. They are short. The longest is eleven words. None of them stands alone, and each one is followed by a sentence that explains it.

Your turn

Use the Smith passage in Part 2. Write a five-sentence body paragraph on how Smith builds her standing in paragraph 3. Write one sentence for each CHAIN step, in this order: C, H, A, I, N. Do not worry about perfect quotes yet. Part 2 teaches them. Then open the answer key and compare your paragraph with the model for Part 1.

Part 2: Choose and embed short quotes (about 10 minutes)

Evidence is the speaker's own words. A good quote is short, exact, and inside your own sentence. These rules help:

1. Choose the words that carry the choice. Ask: which exact words prove my claim?
2. Keep it short. Use a few words, or one short sentence at most. Quote only what you will explain.
3. Put it inside your own sentence, so that the quote is part of your grammar.
4. Copy it exactly. Do not change any word. If you skip words in the middle, mark the gap with an ellipsis (...).
5. Do not end with a line such as "This is from paragraph 4." Your reader does not need it, and it replaces the explaining.
6. Use two or three short quotes in a paragraph. After each one, explain it.

Three ways to put a quote inside your sentence:

Worked example: trim a long quote

Here is a sentence from Smith that a student wants to use to show that she blames careless words for the harm.

Original: "I speak as briefly as possible because too much harm has already been done with irresponsible words of bitterness and selfish political opportunism."

Too long: Smith says, "I speak as briefly as possible because too much harm has already been done with irresponsible words of bitterness and selfish political opportunism."

Trimmed and embedded: Smith blames "irresponsible words of bitterness" for the harm already done.

The trimmed version keeps the three words that carry the choice, copies them exactly, and puts them inside the writer's own sentence.

Passage for Parts 2 to 4: Margaret Chase Smith

Speaker: Senator Margaret Chase Smith of Maine, a Republican and the only woman in the Senate at the time. Date and place: June 1, 1950, on the floor of the U.S. Senate. Background: Senator Joseph McCarthy, from Smith's own party, had been accusing people of being Communists, often without proof. In this speech Smith criticizes those attacks without naming him.

[1] Mr. President, I would like to speak briefly and simply about a serious national condition. It is a national feeling of fear and frustration . . . .

[2] I speak as briefly as possible because too much harm has already been done with irresponsible words of bitterness and selfish political opportunism. I speak as simply as possible because the issue is too great to be obscured by eloquence. I speak simply and briefly in the hope that my words will be taken to heart.

[3] Mr. President, I speak as a Republican. I speak as a woman. I speak as a United States senator. I speak as an American.

[4] The United States Senate has long enjoyed worldwide respect as the greatest deliberative body in the world. But recently that deliberative character has too often been debased to the level of a forum of hate and character assassination sheltered by the shield of congressional immunity.

[5] I think that it is high time for the United States Senate and its members to do some real soul searching and to weigh our consciences as to the manner in which we are performing our duty to the people of America and the manner in which we are using or abusing our individual powers and privileges.

Source: Margaret Chase Smith, Declaration of Conscience, June 1, 1950, Congressional Record, 81st Congress, 2nd session, as printed by the U.S. Senate. This excerpt leaves out parts of the speech. Paragraph numbers are for this excerpt only.

Your turn

Open Kennedy's speech in the Passage Packet and find paragraph 7. Pick the shortest exact words that prove he presents the moon as a goal chosen because it is hard. Write one sentence that puts those words inside your own sentence. Then compare with the model in the answer key.

Replay Game 1 and try to beat your score.

Part 3: Commentary, explain how the choice works (about 12 minutes)

Commentary is the sentences you write after a quote. It is where most of the points in the Evidence and Commentary row come from. Good commentary answers three questions:

1. What does the choice do? Use an accurate verb.
2. How does it affect these listeners? Say what they see, feel, or do.
3. Why does it matter for the speaker's purpose?

Commentary goes wrong in three ways. It retells the quote. It names the device and stops, such as "This is a metaphor." Or it says something vague, such as "This is a good choice" or "This shows that he cares." Be careful with "This shows that." Use it only if the words after it say what the choice does.

These openers help you start: "By [the move], [the speaker] [accurate verb] ...", "This lets listeners ...", "For an audience of ..., this means ...", and "This matters because ...".

Worked example: four levels of commentary on one quote

Quote: Smith says the Senate has become "a forum of hate."

Aim for level 4 on each quote. A paragraph with level 4 commentary on each quote has everything the Evidence and Commentary row asks for.

Your turn

Quote: Reagan calls the crew "pioneers." Write level 4 commentary in two or three sentences. Answer all three questions: what the word does, how it affects the listeners, and why that helps Reagan's purpose. Then compare with the model in the answer key.

Part 4: Practice set, check, and fix (about 15 minutes)

Open the Practice Set and answer the questions there. The Form asks how sure you are on each one, scores your answers, and explains every choice. The questions use the Smith passage in Part 2 and the Kennedy and Reagan passages in the Passage Packet.

If you prefer paper, answer below, mark each one 1 (guess), 2 (maybe), or 3 (sure), and check them in the answer key.

Question 1. Smith writes: "But recently that deliberative character has too often been debased to the level of a forum of hate and character assassination sheltered by the shield of congressional immunity." A student wants to quote only the words that carry Smith's harsh label for the Senate. Which quote is best?

A) "But recently that deliberative character has too often been debased to the level of a forum of hate and character assassination sheltered by the shield of congressional immunity"

B) "recently"

C) "a forum of hate"

D) "forum hate"

Question 2. A student quotes Reagan: The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave. Which version embeds the quote best?

A) Reagan contrasts "the fainthearted" with "the brave" and tells children which group the future belongs to.

B) Reagan says this. "The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave."

C) Reagan says, "The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave," and this is a quote about the future.

D) Reagan tells the children something about the future.

Question 3. A student writes: Smith says the Senate has become "a forum of hate." Which next sentence adds the strongest commentary?

A) This shows that Smith does not like what the Senate has become.

B) By calling a place meant for debate "a forum of hate," Smith makes senators hear their own conduct named as the opposite of the "worldwide respect" they take pride in, which pushes them to change.

C) Hate is a very strong word that shows deep and complicated emotions.

D) This is a metaphor.

Question 4. Which sentence only retells and does not explain how a choice works?

A) By promising "more teachers in space," Reagan tells children that their teacher's place will be filled.

B) Reagan places the crew beside Drake, so listeners see pioneers, not victims of a failed launch.

C) Reagan's steady use of "we" places him among the mourners instead of above them.

D) Reagan says that the crew was brave and that more flights will come.

Question 5. Which CHAIN step is this sentence? Listeners who knew the crew only from the news can grieve them as people, not as strangers.

A) Claim the move

B) Highlight the evidence

C) Impact on the audience

D) Name the purpose

Question 6. A student writes: Reagan tells the children that "It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery." Which next sentence adds the strongest commentary?

A) Reagan is talking to the children because many of them watched the launch.

B) Repeating "It's all part of" turns an accident that seems random into one step in a larger story, which gives frightened children something to hold on to.

C) This quote is very emotional and shows that Reagan cares.

D) The children were sad, and Reagan wanted them to feel better.

Question 7. A paragraph about Reagan naming the crew needs a last sentence that names the purpose. Which sentence does that best?

A) This matters because Reagan must show that he feels the loss before he can ask Americans to keep supporting a program that has just failed in public.

B) Reagan names the crew in the second paragraph of the speech.

C) Naming each astronaut is a good choice.

D) Many people were sad that day.

Question 8. Which topic sentence for a Reagan body paragraph names a move that can be proved with words from the passage?

A) Reagan also uses a poem.

B) The last part of Reagan's speech is about Drake and a poem.

C) Reagan was a very good speaker.

D) Reagan closes by lifting the crew out of the day's tragedy and into history.

Read the explanation for every choice, including the ones you got right. You can find them in your Form results and in the answer key.

Write your score on the My Scores tab. For each question you missed or rated 1 or 2, add a row to the My Mistakes tab.

Replay Game 2 and try to beat your score.

Part 5: Compare a strong essay and a weak essay (about 18 minutes)

Both essays answer the Reagan practice prompt in the Passage Packet. The strong essay is in the Packet. We wrote the weak essay to be fixed. It is printed below. Neither is a College Board sample.

Weak sample essay: Reagan's Challenger address

The first paragraph is a fair introduction, so use this essay to practice body paragraphs. Paragraphs 2 to 4 are the body paragraphs.

[1] On January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger broke apart, and that night President Ronald Reagan spoke to the nation instead of giving his State of the Union address. In his address, Reagan consoles a grieving nation and reassures it that the space program will go on by mourning the crew with the whole country, speaking to the schoolchildren who watched, and comparing the crew to Sir Francis Drake.

[2] Reagan starts by talking about the loss. He says, "Today is a day for mourning and remembering. Nancy and I are pained to the core by the tragedy of the shuttle Challenger. We know we share this pain with all of the people of our country. This is truly a national loss." This shows that Reagan is sad about the Challenger and that everyone is sad. Then he names the crew. He says, "We mourn seven heroes: Michael Smith, Dick Scobee, Judith Resnik, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, Gregory Jarvis, and Christa McAuliffe." This shows that he knows who died. Reagan is trying to make the nation feel better by talking about the crew.

[3] Next, Reagan talks to the schoolchildren. He says, "And I want to say something to the schoolchildren of America who were watching the live coverage of the shuttle's takeoff. I know it is hard to understand, but sometimes painful things like this happen. It's all part of the process of exploration and discovery. It's all part of taking a chance and expanding man's horizons. The future doesn't belong to the fainthearted; it belongs to the brave." Reagan is talking to the children because many of them watched the launch. This is a good choice because it is about the children. He also says there will be more flights.

[4] Last, Reagan talks about Sir Francis Drake. He says, "There's a coincidence today. On this day 390 years ago, the great explorer Sir Francis Drake died aboard ship off the coast of Panama." Then he says the crew was like Drake. At the end he uses a poem. He says they "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God." This is a good way to end the speech because it is sad but hopeful.

[5] In conclusion, Reagan gave a good speech after the Challenger disaster. He talked about the crew, the children, and Drake. This made Americans feel better and want the space program to continue.

Now do these steps on paper:

1. Open the Passage Packet and read paragraph 4 of the Strong Sample Essay, the one that starts "Reagan closes by." Label each sentence C, H, A, I, or N. Some sentences have two labels.
2. In that same paragraph, copy two quotes. Count the words in each. Say which words carry the choice.
3. Read paragraph 2 of the weak essay, the one that starts "Reagan starts by talking about the loss." Write at least four problems, using these codes: C (the opening names a topic, not a move), L (a quote is too long), R (the commentary retells), V (the commentary is vague), I (nothing says how it affects the listeners), and N (nothing says why it matters for Reagan's purpose).
4. Rewrite weak paragraph 2 as one CHAIN paragraph of five to seven sentences. Use only short quotes, and put each one inside your own sentence. Explain every quote.
5. Open the answer key, Part 5. Check your labels, your problem list, and your rewrite. Your wording will differ. Check that your rewrite has a claim about a move, at least two short embedded quotes, commentary after each one, an impact on the listeners, and a purpose.

If you have time, do the same for weak paragraphs 3 and 4. The answer key lists the problems in each.

Exit Check (about 5 minutes)

Open the Exit Check. Answer all 5 questions without your notes. When you submit, choose View score and read why each answer is right or wrong. Write your score on the My Scores tab of your tracker. Add any question you missed to the My Mistakes tab.

4 or 5 right: you are ready for your return day. 3 or fewer right: replay Game 2 and reread Part 3 before your return day.

Set your return date. Pick a date one to two weeks from today. Write it on the Next Step tab of your tracker and on your calendar.

1. Replay the game that felt hardest.
2. Retake the Exit Check without your notes.
3. Write your score on the My Scores tab and compare it with your first try.

4 or 5 right: go to Module 5. 3 or fewer right: open the help for the questions you missed, then retake the Exit Check in a few days.

Do this when you have about 40 minutes. You will write two body paragraphs on a real prompt and score them on the Evidence and Commentary row. You will not write a full essay. A low score here is useful, because it tells you what to work on.

Use College Board's files on College Board's site only. Do not paste official questions, passages, or scoring guides into AI tools, because College Board does not allow its content to be used with them.

1. Open College Board's past exam questions page. Under 2023, open Free-Response Questions, Set 1, and go to Question 2.
2. Put your phone away and set a timer for 5 minutes. Read the prompt and the passage. Write SOAPSTone notes. Pick two choices the speaker makes, in the order they appear.
3. Take 3 minutes to write one thesis sentence with the frame from Module 3. You do not need a first sentence.
4. Take 24 minutes to write two body paragraphs, about 12 minutes each. Use CHAIN in each one. Use two short quotes in each paragraph, and explain every quote. Start paragraph 2 with words that point back to paragraph 1.
5. Stop when the timer ends, even if you are not done. Score your paragraphs on the table below before you open any official file.
6. Back on the same page, open the 2023 Scoring Guidelines for Set 1 and read the Evidence and Commentary row for Question 2. Then open the Sample Responses for Question 2, Set 1. Read the body paragraphs of one high-scoring and one low-scoring sample. Change your score if you scored too high or too low.
7. Write your final score on the My Essays tab of your tracker. Write one fix for next time.

This score is practice feedback on two paragraphs. The CHAIN check is not an official AP score row. It is a way to check your work. Neither number predicts your exam score. With two paragraphs, you can show most of what the Evidence and Commentary row asks for, but a full essay is scored across all of its paragraphs.

Want more practice? When you have another 40 minutes, write the introduction and a third body paragraph and a conclusion for the same prompt, then score the whole essay with the table in Module 2, Part 6, and write the scores on the My Essays tab.

Next step: open the Next Step tab of your tracker, then open the help for your top sticking point. Then go to Module 5.

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